thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
