She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
