ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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