What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
