she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he thought i was a dude.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
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I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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