I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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