So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
