She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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