I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
