do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.