she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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