lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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