So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
