If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
