I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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