We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
