I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
