i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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