you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize