I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
