omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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