I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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