out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
