she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
