moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
