Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
