I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
