so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
