Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
