apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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