apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
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gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
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as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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