I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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