I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
