is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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