i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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