you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
