I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
