so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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