I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
this boner is exhausting
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
NoShamevember. You game?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
