the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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