I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
