I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
