My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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