you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just found a bag of teeth...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
