But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
