Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
