I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
