Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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