If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
