Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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