This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
