The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
