so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
