a search helicopter?!
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You pole danced in your parka.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
