I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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