I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Come see our sink grown plant.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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