tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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