Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
