I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Randomize