let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
tell me about the eggs
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
