You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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