youre lurking in front of me
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize