you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
