Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
